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	<title>Nurse In Australia&#187; General Nursing Stuff</title>
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	<link>http://www.nurseinaustralia.com</link>
	<description>A Nursing Blog about Nursing In Australia</description>
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		<title>A Closer Look At Australia&#8217;s Private Healthcare Systems</title>
		<link>http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/private-healthcare/</link>
		<comments>http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/private-healthcare/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 23 Mar 2011 14:35:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[General Nursing Stuff]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/?p=2307</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This guest post is brought to you by NIB Health Insurance It is well known among many health professionals that [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<!-- Start Shareaholic LikeButtonSetTop --><!-- End Shareaholic LikeButtonSetTop --><p><em><strong>This guest post is brought to you by NIB Health Insurance</strong></em></p>
<div style="float: right; margin-top: 5px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 10px;"><img title="credit: Adrian Clark" src="http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/wp-content/uploads/images/scope2.jpg" border="0" alt="Stethoscope" width="200" height="200" /></a></div>
<p>It is well known among many health professionals that good health can be the key to happiness and helps to increase the ability to live a longer life. Perhaps one of the most important factors in maintaining or improving people’s health is the services provided in healthcare. One aspect of healthcare that can help ensure this and protect you from the unknown is health insurance.</p>
<p>Here in Australia, the healthcare system focuses not only on the physical and mental health of the people but also their general state of well-being.  There are two parts of the healthcare system: public and private. </p>
<p>The public healthcare system is run by our government and is paid by our very own taxes. The public healthcare system covers the basic things such as getting simple medical tests, seeing a doctor or being treated in a public hospital without paying anything. However this can still have a number of limitations.</p>
<p>For instance, you won&#8217;t be able to choose which hospital or which doctor to treat you. You won&#8217;t be assisted immediately because they have to prioritize those in the waiting list, requiring you to wait. (except for emergency cases). </p>
<p>That is why more people prefer private health insurance. In fact, more than 4.7 million Australians are registered with private health insurance providers. Private insurance covers services such as optical and dental services that fall outside what Medicare covers. </p>
<p>There are many private health insurance providers in the market but let us put the spotlight on one of Australia&#8217;s highly-trusted health insurers, <a href="http://www.nib.com.au">NIB Health Insurance</a>. They have been in the industry for more than 50 years and cover over 800,000 costumers all around Australia. They offer various health insurance options such as individual health insurance, couple health insurance and family health insurance. </p>
<p>What&#8217;s impressive about them is that they tailor-fit the insurance especially for you, choosing what to include and exclude depending on your needs. This helps to make your health insurance more affordable. </p>
<p>The Federal Government is helping to encourage people to avail and maintain private health insurance earlier in their lives. This is called the Lifetime Health Cover. Under this, every person who joins any private hospital cover aged 31 and below will be paying lower premiums compared to those who are over 31 years old who will be charged 2% annual loading for every delayed year they had before joining a private health insurance. Nib also offers hospital covers that meet all the requirements of Lifetime Health Cover.</p>
<p>Each one of us should find a health insurance plan that is best suited to cover you and your family needs. It is better to be ready than sorry.</p>
<p><em>(Thanks to the author for this weeks guest post.  Please note, views and opinions of any of our guest authors do not necessarily reflect those of this website.)</em></p>
<div style="text-align: right;"><small><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/adrianclarkmbbs/495524570/">Photo credit</a></small></div>
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<li><a href='http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/damning-hospital-reports-government-takeovers/' rel='bookmark' title='Damning Hospital Reports, Government Takeovers&#8230; and all that jazz'>Damning Hospital Reports, Government Takeovers&#8230; and all that jazz</a></li>
<li><a href='http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/nursing-shortages-in-australia/' rel='bookmark' title='Nursing shortages in Australia'>Nursing shortages in Australia</a></li>
<li><a href='http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/new-release-guide/' rel='bookmark' title='New Release: A Guide to Working and Living as a Nurse Down Under'>New Release: A Guide to Working and Living as a Nurse Down Under</a></li>
<li><a href='http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/nursing-in-the-australian-health-service/' rel='bookmark' title='E-Book Review: Nursing in the Australian Health Service'>E-Book Review: Nursing in the Australian Health Service</a></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>Nurses Sick Leave in Winter</title>
		<link>http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/nurses-sick-leave-in-winter/</link>
		<comments>http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/nurses-sick-leave-in-winter/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 05 Jul 2010 00:49:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Ross</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[General Nursing Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[flu]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nurses sick]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nurses sick leave]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sick leave]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[winter flu]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/?p=1979</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[What are your experiences regarding nurses taking sick leave in winter? In most places that I&#8217;ve worked I&#8217;ve noticed a [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<!-- Start Shareaholic LikeButtonSetTop --><!-- End Shareaholic LikeButtonSetTop --><div style="float: right; margin-top: 5px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 10px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/trumanlo/1108486420/" target="_blank"><img title="credit: trumanlo" src="http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/wp-content/uploads/images/sneeze.jpg" border="0" alt="Flu Symptoms" width="240" height="160" /></a></div>
<p>What are your experiences regarding nurses taking sick leave in winter?</p>
<p>In most places that I&#8217;ve worked I&#8217;ve noticed a sharp rise in staff off on sick leave &#8211; obviously this is in part due to the winter cough/cold/flu blues, but perhaps it may also have something to do with the run on effect from others being off sick.  </p>
<p>In other words, constantly working one or two staff down can be pretty tiring and eventually can lead to you also getting run down &#038; taking a day off to recuperate.  This is also compounded if your work load goes up during the winter months.</p>
<p>While I&#8217;m on the subject of sick leave, I was interested in a recent <a href="http://allnurses.com/geriatric-nurses-ltc/sick-leave-question-314071.html">allnurses thread</a> that discussed different policies for calling in sick.</p>
<p>The hospital where I work in Australia has no time limits for calling in sick, compared with some of the hospital policies mentioned in the above thread.  For instance, you could call in 8 hours before your shift or 8 minutes before your shift without any penalty or ramifications.  </p>
<p>Common sense however dictates that calling in 8 minutes before your shift will not only infuriate your workplace and colleagues, it is pretty poor form in general and should only be done in dire circumstances.  I would say that in general, most people tend to give at least a few hours notice. (Notice I say *most* people!)</p>
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<li><a href='http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/7-tips-to-survive-a-late-night-hospital-shift/' rel='bookmark' title='7 Tips to Survive a Late Night Hospital Shift'>7 Tips to Survive a Late Night Hospital Shift</a></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>Making the Pain Chart more.. real</title>
		<link>http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/pain-chart/</link>
		<comments>http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/pain-chart/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 02 Apr 2010 06:29:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Ross</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[General Nursing Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pain chart]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pain score]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/?p=1928</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I must admit, I&#8217;ve never been a major fan of the traditional pain score chart. You know the ones I&#8217;m [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<!-- Start Shareaholic LikeButtonSetTop --><!-- End Shareaholic LikeButtonSetTop --><p>I must admit, I&#8217;ve never been a major fan of the traditional pain score chart.  </p>
<p>You know the ones I&#8217;m talking about?  We use them mostly on children (actually I&#8217;ve never used them on anyone other than children) to try and understand their level of pain.</p>
<p>Now that I think about it, I&#8217;m not really quite sure that they&#8217;re the best way to determine what a child&#8217;s pain is at, either&#8230; </p>
<p>&#8220;Look over here at the chart, Madeline&#8230;  MADELINE &#8211; LOOK AT THE CHART please&#8230;&#8221;</p>
<p>but I digress..</p>
<p>This week I stumbled across a brilliant reinterpretation of the pain score chart, as described by Allie of <a href="http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com" target="_blank">Hyperbole and a Half</a>.</p>
<p>Check out the full story &#038; second half of the <strong>New Improved!</strong> pain chart by visiting <a href= "http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/02/boyfriend-doesnt-have-ebola-probably.html" target="_blank">Boyfriend doesn&#8217;t have ebola. Probably.</a>  You could also click on the picture below if you would rather do that.  I&#8217;m all about options here&#8230;</p>
<div style="text-align: center; margin-top: 5px; margin-bottom: 15px;"><a href= "http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/02/boyfriend-doesnt-have-ebola-probably.html" target="_blank"><img title="Pain Score Chart, revisited" src="http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/wp-content/uploads/images/painface.png" border="0" alt="Pain Score Chart" width="550" height="138" /></a></div>
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</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>Titles of Nurses in Australia</title>
		<link>http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/titles-of-nurses-in-australia/</link>
		<comments>http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/titles-of-nurses-in-australia/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 18 Mar 2010 10:15:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Ross</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[General Nursing Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[AIN]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[australian nurses]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[categories of nurses]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[differences between nurses]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[EEN]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[EN]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NP]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nurse title]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nursing categories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nursing titles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RN]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[type of nurse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[types of nurse]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/?p=1767</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Confused about different types and titles of Nurses in Australia? Want to know the differences between an AIN, PCA, RN, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<!-- Start Shareaholic LikeButtonSetTop --><!-- End Shareaholic LikeButtonSetTop --><p>Confused about different types and titles of Nurses in Australia?</p>
<p>Want to know the differences between an AIN, PCA, RN, EN, EEN, NP etc etc?  </p>
<p>How long does it actually take to reach each qualification in Australia?</p>
<p>Find out a bit more about <strong>Categories of Nurses in Australia</strong> by checking out the new <a href="http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/start-here/categories-of-nurses-in-australia/">Australian Nursing Categories</a> page.</p>
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</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>Nurse&#8217;s Unfair Sacking?</title>
		<link>http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/nurses-unfair-sacking/</link>
		<comments>http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/nurses-unfair-sacking/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 08 Feb 2010 06:08:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Ross</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[General Nursing Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[age]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[aged care]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fired]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[old nurses]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[older nurses]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sacked]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sacking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[terminated]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/?p=1835</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A Melbourne Nursing Home received a stern warning this week by the Fair Work Ombudsman over what has been described [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<!-- Start Shareaholic LikeButtonSetTop --><!-- End Shareaholic LikeButtonSetTop --><div style="text-align: center; margin-top: 5px; margin-bottom: 10px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/xxxlps/2484253769/" target="_blank"><img title="Flower - credit: MissLPS" src="http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/wp-content/uploads/images/flower.jpg" border="0" alt="Interesting Flower" width="500" height="234" /></a></div>
<p>A Melbourne Nursing Home received a stern warning this week by the Fair Work Ombudsman over what has been described as a &#8220;heartless and shabby treatment&#8221; of one of their longstanding aged-care nurses.</p>
<p>The Nursing Home has been placed on notice, and will be monitored closely to ensure that it stays compliant with workplace laws after an incident involving the Nurse.  </p>
<p>Here&#8217;s the lowdown: while at work, an aged-care nurse fell and broke her hip.  After seven months of recovery at home, she was basically told not to come back to work, thank you very much.</p>
<p>What&#8217;s intriguing and puts a new twist on this story is the age of the nurse &#8211; she is a spritely <strong>74 years old</strong>.</p>
<p>More injustices came to light when Fair Work inspectors looked further into the situation.  From the article at <a href="http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/national/regulator-shocked-by-nurses-sacking/story-e6frfku9-1225827560846">News.com.au</a>: </p>
<blockquote><p>&#8220;The nurse did not believe she had received her full entitlements on termination and complained to the Fair Work Ombudsman.</p>
<p>When a Fair Work inspector first contacted the nursing home, it initially denied that the complainant had been employed there.  However, after demanding to see employment records, inspectors subsequently found the nurse had been underpaid annual leave and long-service leave entitlements and for some hours worked.</p>
<p>The company has now reimbursed the nurse almost $30,000.&#8221;</p></blockquote>
<p>My question therefore, is this: </p>
<ul>
<li>How much of this has to do with the Nurse&#8217;s age?  Would a younger worker have received the same treatment?</li>
</ul>
<p>Additionally, how old is too old to look after &#8216;aged care&#8217; patients?</p>
<p>From my own foray into the world of aged care several years ago, I know that some patients in Nursing Homes are actually younger then the 74 year old Nurse.  Conversely, you also find 90year olds who are living quite happily on their own in the community, so I guess it depends on each individual.</p>
<p>Does anyone have any thoughts on this story?</p>
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		<title>7 Tips to Survive a Late Night Hospital Shift</title>
		<link>http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/7-tips-to-survive-a-late-night-hospital-shift/</link>
		<comments>http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/7-tips-to-survive-a-late-night-hospital-shift/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 12 Nov 2009 00:41:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Ross</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[General Nursing Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[graveyard shift]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[night duty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[night shift]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[working through night]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/?p=1504</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[credit: the half-blood prince Guest post by Mary Ward Perhaps you are new to working at a hospital or just [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<!-- Start Shareaholic LikeButtonSetTop --><!-- End Shareaholic LikeButtonSetTop --><div style="text-align: center; margin-top: 5px; margin-bottom: 10px;"><img title="tired" src="http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/wp-content/uploads/images/tired.jpg" border="0" alt="Night Duty Woes" width="500" height="242" /><br />
<small>credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/unconstructive_bry/2284502768/" target="_blank">the half-blood prince</a></small></div>
<p><small>Guest post by <strong>Mary Ward</strong></small></p>
<p>Perhaps you are new to working at a hospital or just feeling out of sorts and just plain lousy. Working the late night shift at the hospital is incredibly challenging to many people in the medical profession.</p>
<p>All adult human beings require seven to eight hours of quality sleep each night. Sleeping during the day is not as restorative as night sleep. Medical professionals that work the late night shift rarely get the seven to eight hours of sleep that they need. Not getting enough sleep can cause problems with mood, concentration and memory. In addition, missing out on quality z&#8217;s can lead to chronic diseases such as heart disease, diabetes and obesity. </p>
<p>Until a time when hospital patients no longer have to spend overnight stays in the hospital, medical professionals are not likely to stop working the late night shift any time soon. Therefore, it is critical that individuals in the medical field develop and practice healthy sleeping habits. Here are some tips to help you survive a late night hospital shift:<br />
<span id="more-1504"></span></p>
<ol>
<li>If you are having trouble getting any quality sleep, you should start a sleep journal. Write in your journal every day for a minimum of two weeks. Make an appointment with your doctor in order to determine which treatment is best for your situation. Take your sleep journal with you to your appointment.</li>
<li>Try wearing your sunglasses on the way home from work if it is light out when your shift is over. This will signal to your body that it is time to go to sleep. When you get home, draw the shades and climb in bed for a good day&#8217;s sleep.</li>
<li>If you are stuck working the late night shift at the hospital, try to take a nap during your lunch break. Studies indicate that just twenty to thirty minutes of sleep can make you more alert and ready to get back to work to finish your shift.</li>
<li>Limit your caffeine intake to no more than 500 mg per day. In addition, only consume caffeine in the first four hours that you are awake. Consuming caffeine to late into the day or night can disrupt sleep.</li>
<li>In order to help your body adjust to working the late night shift at the hospital, keep up with the routine. Wake up and go to sleep at the same time of day or night whether you are working or not.</li>
<li>Make sure that your family, friends and neighbors know you are working the late night shift. Let them know when it is okay for them to call or come by and when you will be catching up on sleep. You may also want to ask your neighbors to keep the noise to a minimum when you are resting.</li>
<li>Do not expect to function fully during the day just because you work the late night shift. Avoid planning any additional responsibilities during the time you should be sleeping. If you do not respect your body&#8217;s need for sleep, you will not be able to function at work or enjoy the time you spend with your family and friends.</li>
</ol>
<p><small>* <strong>Mary Ward</strong> writes about how to choose among <a href="http://www.diagnosticmedicalsonographydegree.com/">online diagnostic medical sonography degrees</a>.</small></p>
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<li><a href='http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/patient-dies-after-hospital-visit/' rel='bookmark' title='Patient Dies After Hospital Visit &#8211; Nursing Implications?'>Patient Dies After Hospital Visit &#8211; Nursing Implications?</a></li>
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<li><a href='http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/overworked-doctors-just-add-caffeine/' rel='bookmark' title='Overworked Doctors: Just Add Caffeine?'>Overworked Doctors: Just Add Caffeine?</a></li>
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		<title>Piña colada for the patient, please?</title>
		<link>http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/pina-colada-for-the-patient-please/</link>
		<comments>http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/pina-colada-for-the-patient-please/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 04 Oct 2009 10:16:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Ross</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[General Nursing Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dying swan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hospital]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lazy patient]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[not nurses role]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[patient]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[perception of nurses]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/?p=1410</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[credit: Kenny Hindgren People always ask me about what goes on behind closed doors in hospitals, so today I thought [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<!-- Start Shareaholic LikeButtonSetTop --><!-- End Shareaholic LikeButtonSetTop --><div style="text-align: center; margin-top: 5px; margin-bottom: 10px;"><img title="Cocktail" src="http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/wp-content/uploads/images/cocktail.jpg" border="0" alt="I'm On Holiday!" width="400" height="297" /><br />
<small>credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kennyhindgren/3281934120/" target="_blank">Kenny Hindgren</a></small></div>
<p>People always ask me about what goes on behind closed doors in hospitals, so today I thought I&#8217;d give you a bit of an insiders view into emergency departments.<br />
Just to mix things up a bit, today&#8217;s article comes with a twist of lime &#8211; I&#8217;m turning the tables and commenting on something that is widely known amongst nurses but probably not openly discussed, at least not in public <img src='http://www.nurseinaustralia.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_wink.gif' alt=';)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
<p>In my years of nursing I&#8217;ve come across a rather interesting phenomenon that many other health care workers have also experienced at some time or other.  It really is quite a crazy concept that really defies logic, yet inexplicably it continues to occur in both the public and private sectors.</p>
<p><em>&#8220;What is this crazy phenomenon?&#8221;</em>, you ask.</p>
<p>Ok here goes.  And before you start throwing mouldy fruit at me, please understand the spirit of where I am coming from.  Patient&#8217;s are great, and nurses are here for the patients.  If we didn&#8217;t have some degree of empathy we couldn&#8217;t really function at all in the job.  Honest!</p>
<p>However&#8230;&#8230;   <span id="more-1410"></span></p>
<p>There are a certain portion of the population that actually seem to declare <strong>&#8220;Here I am, I&#8217;m on holiday!&#8221;</strong> upon arriving at the hospital.</p>
<p>If you&#8217;re picturing scenes of a family of 5 bursting into a hotel foyer with bags-a-plenty in tow, excitedly clutching at tickets and dropping bits and pieces of food as they make their way to the front counter, you&#8217;re probably not far off.</p>
<p>Strange but true, I&#8217;d love to give you some real life examples to back up my allegations.  (Addit: for die hard nurses let me make a differentiation here between this kind of &#8216;holiday&#8217; patient and another frequent flyer, the &#8216;dying swan&#8217; patient, who can&#8217;t possibly push themselves back up the bed.  I&#8217;ll save that discussion for another day&#8230;)</p>
<p>Anyway, here are some of the &#8220;yay, I&#8217;m on holiday!&#8221; type behavioural patterns I have personally been witness to over the years:</p>
<ul>
<li>Many patient&#8217;s lie down on a bed and decide <em>thank you very much, I am </em><strong><em>here to stay!</em></strong> Under no circumstances could they possibly get up off that bed, despite the fact that yes, their headache is feeling much better &#8211; and &#8220;can I have a bedpan, please?&#8221;</li>
<li>One man (relative of a patient) asked me if he could have some food <em>as his wife was being unloaded off the ambulance trolley!?</em> Say what?</li>
<li>More pillows, less pillows, more blanket, less blanket, foot rub, hair washed etc etc &#8211; quite fine if you&#8217;re in hospital with a broken hip after a high speed MVA.  Quite <em><strong>not fine</strong></em> if you are in hospital because you <strong>drank too much last night!</strong></li>
<li>Several people have asked me for a food menu to make their lunch or dinner choices while they&#8217;re in the Emergency Department.  The <em>&#8220;Emergency Department&#8221;</em>.  Not the Emergency A-la-Carte designer luncheon lounge!</li>
<li>Some people reach an emergency cubicle and begin to unpack &#8211; photo&#8217;s, blankets, flowers, reading material, portable DVD, games, lollies, can of coke, music &#8211; <em>&#8220;ahhhh, here I am &#8211; does anyone know what time bingo starts?&#8221;</em></li>
<li>And the pièce de résistance:  Once a girl in her 20&#8242;s came into emergency with a fairly minor complaint.  From memory, it was some kind of ankle injury that ended up being soft tissue damage.  She was discharged and ready to go home, and my colleague helped her to the toilets prior to departure.  Minutes later a voice calls out from inside the toilets:<br />
&#8220;Can you wipe for me please?&#8221;  <br />
My colleague: &#8220;Errr.. who wipes for you at home? Aren&#8217;t you about to go home?&#8221;  <br />
Disillusioned patient: &#8220;Yes, but don&#8217;t nurses like, help out and stuff?&#8221;  <br />
Frustrated nurse: &#8220;Errr no, you&#8217;re quite capable of wiping your own bot-bot actually&#8221;. *sigh*<br />
As we discussed this incident later, dumbfounded, we wondered if someone was giving tickets out at triage &#8211; &#8220;one free bottom wipe with each presentation!&#8221;</li>
</ul>
<p>Does any of this sound familiar to anyone?  </p>
<p>Oh, and could someone fetch a Piña colada for the patient in cube 9 please?  Don&#8217;t forget the little umbrella&#8230;..</p>
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