credit: Kenny Hindgren
There are a certain portion of the population that actually seem to declare “Here I am, I’m on holiday!” upon arriving at the hospital.
If you’re picturing scenes of a family of 5 bursting into a hotel foyer with bags-a-plenty in tow, excitedly clutching at tickets and dropping bits and pieces of food as they make their way to the front counter, you’re probably not far off.
Strange but true, I’d love to give you some real life examples to back up my allegations. (Addit: for die hard nurses let me make a differentiation here between this kind of ‘holiday’ patient and another frequent flyer, the ‘dying swan’ patient, who can’t possibly push themselves back up the bed. I’ll save that discussion for another day…)
Anyway, here are some of the “yay, I’m on holiday!” type behavioural patterns I have personally been witness to over the years:
- Many patient’s lie down on a bed and decide thank you very much, I am here to stay! Under no circumstances could they possibly get up off that bed, despite the fact that yes, their headache is feeling much better – and “can I have a bedpan, please?”
- One man (relative of a patient) asked me if he could have some food as his wife was being unloaded off the ambulance trolley!? Say what?
- More pillows, less pillows, more blanket, less blanket, foot rub, hair washed etc etc – quite fine if you’re in hospital with a broken hip after a high speed MVA. Quite not fine if you are in hospital because you drank too much last night!
- Several people have asked me for a food menu to make their lunch or dinner choices while they’re in the Emergency Department. The “Emergency Department”. The Emergency A-la-Carte designer luncheon lounge apparently.
- Some people reach an emergency cubicle and begin to unpack – photo’s, blankets, flowers, reading material, portable DVD, games, lollies, can of coke, music – “ahhhh, here I am – does anyone know what time bingo starts?”
Does any of this sound familiar?
Oh, and could someone fetch a Piña colada for the patient in cube 9 please? Don’t forget the little umbrella…..